Esther Stanhope: “I used to feel like a lamb to the slaughter”

With her powerful, recognisable red coat and visually captivating backdrop, Esther Stanhope effortlessly commands attention, even on a virtual call with muted tones and pixelated backgrounds.

Her array of cameras accentuates each of her unique expressions, the self-portrait in the background acts as a testament to her expertise and the ‘On Air’ sign conveys her enthusiasm for going live. Her unwavering presence, professionalism and lively spirit are evident through the screen.

“Now we’re recording so I better start looking at the camera and behaving myself.” These astute remarks were offered by the widely recognised ‘impact guru’ and well-known BBC producer, as our interview gets underway.

Esther Stanhope is an inspiring woman running her own business, from interviewing Hollywood stars, to assisting politicians, corporate leaders, attorneys, and women in the British Army, in speaking more effectively. She has also founded the ‘80% Perfect Club’ - ‘a fun and affordable confidence coaching program for the imperfect professional’.

But not only this, but she is also the mother of two children and the wife of film producer Adam Stanhope. For years she overworked herself, trying to balance her career and family life, and at forty she had a heart attack. She now (in her late forties) speaks out for the British Heart Foundation at their events, alerting other women of the dangers of heart disease and the need of leading a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

From the challenging experiences she has encountered in both her professional and personal life, she has learnt vital life lessons. One being, “Don’t shy away from something just because it’s not good the first time.”

From her first terrifying public speaking moment at six years old where she “just couldn’t read the words”, to her “out of body experience” when giving a presentation at the Edinburgh International Television Festival (which she describes in her book). Now, she is ‘helping thousands of women combat imposter syndrome all over the world’. Her book ‘Goodbye Glossophobia’, published in 2019, has won numerous awards. In the form of a pocket guidebook, it teaches readers how to overcome their fear of public speaking.

“Being a business owner is an emotional roller coaster,” she says. “It’s really tough, but now I’ve created my own job and I’m my own boss.”

She had a transformative experience during a corporate conference, where she shifted from feeling like a “lamb to the slaughter” to understanding her own strength and authority in an auditorium that was “mainly men in suits and a few women”. She was recognised by a man at the conference, and he asked, “will you pick on us if we’re in the front row?” This seemed to be a turning point for Esther, as her mindset changed, enabling her to accept her position as a speaker and leader, and perceive herself as a “warrior” with “power”. She realised then and there that she had the ability to influence and guide an audience.

Over the years, Esther has noticed that women are more likely than men to turn down public speaking opportunities and instead would rather opt for behind-the-scenes speech-writing roles. “There is a reluctance among a lot of female leaders to expose themselves to that kind of vulnerability.”

Her call to action for people, but particularly for women, is to just “get out there and do it”. By mentoring through her masterclasses, online courses, and her book, she is encouraging women, and other marginalised groups, to become visible and prominent. She wants them to share their knowledge, their observations, and stories.

Esther exemplifies the value of authenticity and being true to oneself. She uses the example of Annie, who encountered initial challenges entering a new leadership role in financial services, mostly because of environment she was in, which was predominantly male. Feeling insecure about her Northern accent, she was hesitant about speaking in front of an audience. Through coaching, Esther addressed her insecurities and concerns and encouraged her to stay true to herself. The two found a method for Annie to relate to the primarily male audience, when Annie revealed her passion for football. She managed to establish a comfortable environment for herself while speaking, by making light of her northern background and starting a humorous and light-hearted conversation about a recent football match.

“Inside she was so scared, but the people in the room thought she was confident and even a comedian,” claims Esther. “When she rang me the next day, she said she got three offers to speak again. Given that she was herself, she lit up the room!”

Kim Duke, Esther’s business coach, strongly supported the idea of her sharing her wisdom on the matters of public speaking and confidence. Esther states, “If it wasn’t for Kim, I would never have set up my business.” She emphasises that Kim encouraged her to write her book, too, by saying, “if you can talk then you can write”.

So, what’s next? Esther is currently working on her second book, which delves into more detail about that human-like inner fear of putting ourselves out there. As a professional, she continues to shine a light for women, supporting them to feel empowered and confident within their careers.